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28 Devastating Truths About Adulthood That Nobody Ever Tells You

28 Devastating Truths About Adulthood That Nobody Ever Tells You
Posted Monday, March 24th 2014 @ 8am

-- Without warning, all your friends start getting engaged and having babies…
-- There is an expectation that waking up early becomes easier with time. It does not.

-- You work tirelessly 60 hours a week to earn money… For your tax collector and landlord.
-- And you spend the rest of your money* on attending weddings and baby showers.

-- No party, no matter how perfect, is as fun as being in bed without pants on.

-- And no significant other, no matter how compatible, is as loyal as Netflix and Hulu.

-- You cumulatively spend several years of your life just dusting and vacuuming and wiping things.

-- You endure a lot of bizarre hair/makeup mishaps…

-- Eventually we all turn into our mothers and fathers. Generally, this is a privilege.

-- Your hangovers will always be far more painful than your drunkenness was fun.

-- You have to work to acquire things that used to just show up. Like utensils. And trashcans.

-- When you’re professionally successful, people you haven’t talked to in years suddenly want to be your BFF.

-- And when you’re not, you’re the one sending “hey how’s it going” texts to people you haven’t spoken to in 10 years.
-- You at age 6: “I wanna be an astronaut!” You at age 22: “I’m writing to express interest in your unpaid internship.”
-- Keeping a written account of your money situation is both useful and incredibly depressing.

-- Cooking is when you reheat take-out leftovers and add hot sauce.

-- You will never outgrow junk food cravings.
-- No matter how “over it” you are, you will probably Facebook stalk an ex once or twice a week.

-- That pair of pants you’ve kept for years because you’re sure you’ll fit back into them someday? Yep, OK, sure.

-- Youth is fleeting. Nothing lasts forever. Except student loans.

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