♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Aries doomscrolls aggressively. You’re flying through videos at lightning speed, getting bored immediately, and somehow still ending up overstimulated. You close the app like, “That was a waste of time,” and then reopen it five minutes later.
♉ Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Taurus doomscrolls comfortably. You’re watching the same type of content every night, in the same position, probably with snacks. It’s not doomscrolling to you, it’s part of your routine.
♊ Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Gemini doomscrolls chaotically. You’re switching apps, reading comments, texting someone back, and watching a video all at the same time. Somehow, you still know exactly what’s going on everywhere.
♋ Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Cancer doomscrolls emotionally. You start off fine and then suddenly you’re deep in sad stories, heartfelt comments, and videos that feel personal. You definitely didn’t mean to spiral, but here we are.
♌ Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Leo doomscrolls with main character energy. You’re checking who posted, who watched your story, and who didn’t. You pretend you don’t care, but you absolutely noticed.
♍ Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Virgo doomscrolls like it’s research. You’re saving tips, correcting misinformation in your head, and convincing yourself this is productive. Somehow, it still turns into an hour.
♎ Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Libra doomscrolls aesthetically. You’re liking everything pretty, saving outfit inspo, and comparing options you don’t need to compare. Decision paralysis starts right there in the feed.
♏ Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
Scorpio doomscrolls silently. You don’t post much, but you see everything, clock everything, and remember everything. No one knows you were even there.
♐ Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
Sagittarius doomscrolls for escape. You’re watching travel videos, life resets, and people quitting their jobs. Mentally, you’ve already left.
♑ Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
Capricorn doomscrolls with guilt. You check work stuff first, allow yourself a few minutes of fun, and then feel bad for wasting time. Productivity is always in the back of your mind.
♒ Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
Aquarius doomscrolls niche content only. Your feed is random, specific, slightly unhinged, and makes zero sense to anyone else. You love it that way.
♓ Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Pisces doomscrolls until they disappear. You get lost in music clips, edits, and emotional videos and forget what time it is. Reality will be dealt with later.